apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Randomize
