Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You smell like stripper and shame
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
