ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
