And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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