I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
