This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
birth control should be required to get into college
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
