Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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