Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
