Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
