yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
