why do cheetos always look like penises
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
