Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
did i walk over a car last night?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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