I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
