Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
