Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
