now i know why i became what i already was.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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