i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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