You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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