A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
