You made me cry and you don't even care
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
