youre lurking in front of me
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
