i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
