Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
