so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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