I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize