i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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