I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize