you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
