i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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