dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
