I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Someone signed my nipple.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
