We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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