I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
