I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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