Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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