Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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