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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
