What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
