love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
