Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
