honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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