She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
