found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
