so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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