At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
