i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
