They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
