We won't sleep together?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
