There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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