what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
