I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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