How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have tasted many bathrooms
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
