Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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