can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
