why didn't you poke me back
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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