If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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