i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Randomize
