You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
